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The court of public opinion

Whoever came up with that phrase probably took English 101 at a community college.

Community college is going good so far, but my English class has become a bi-weekly trip to the dentist’s office.. with extra fluoride treatments.
I’ve always known I was different, and both lamented and been proud of it, sometimes simultaneously. However, on the rare occasion when I’ve been in a class/public setting and I’ve made a heartfelt opinion known, there is often a lot of backlash/people scoff at me, and I get self-conscious. I probably shouldn’t be surprised, I mean – I like a lot of “normal” things, but the majority of things I like are either not part of my “demographic” or are considered “just plain strange.”

I read an elseworlds comic (insert title here) that was written from the perspective of Lex Luthor. In it, Lex Luthor was the hero, and was vigilant towards the supremely powerful alien Superman, who had made Metropolis his home. Sometimes I know what that Lex Luthor feels like, when I see all the “bro” guys who easily make friends with other “bro” guys, and are “scoring chicks’ numbers” with ease, while I’m given cautious looks and called “sir” or some other formal salutation because I’m not smiling and/or dressed like everyone else. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any buisness scoring “chicks numbers” but it wouldn’t be horrible to give off whatever aura it is that makes people comfortable with you, instead of the egalitarian death aura.. or whatever it is I have going on.

I’m not sure where I ”forked away” from the mainstream so dramatically. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I don’t have any friends down here to hang out with, most of my co-workers can be kind of “back-stabby” (so I’m not interested in seeing them outside of work), I listen to 90% jazz.. or punk/industrial/metal (and not new music), and the only person I really have human conversations with is Kristina.. but maybe I’m in a sort of echo chamber, and it’s making we weird/out-of-touch with “mankind.” I wish people could see how laid-back, and open-minded I try to be.. but then again, it’s probably for the best that people don’t have telepathy or some questions might come up about how many times I visualize going GTA3 while I’m sitting in traffic on the way home from work. : P

I started thinking about this post tonight because we had done a reading on the implications of calling a tank-top a “Wife Beater” and the author of the piece’s opinion was that that was causing people to downplay the horror of someone actually beating their wife. She asked something to the effect of “Does the author prove her opinion?” and I answered “Maybe if she pointed out a survey that 90% of all people who use the term “wife beater” to describe the shirt also thought it was o.k. to actually beat their wives..” Apparently, that was a bad answer because someone in the class said “Whaaa?” in disbelief, and the teacher said “Well, I don’t think you’re going to find a survey that says that..” kind of condescendingly.

..and it’s shit like that, that makes me just want to keep my opinions to myself. ; P

a false sense of brand loyalty

Tonight I was reading some wiki articles about Sandman, and was lead down a path of researching every DC Comics character who has made a cameo in the series. In particular, I was amazed by the apparently ongoing level of depth that the Swamp Thing comic has had. I got started on this thread by coming to find out that “Matthew the raven” is basically the spirit of a Swamp Thing/Doom Patrol character. I knew as a “matter-of-fact” that John Constantine had made his first appearance in ST, but anyway, I’ll get to the real point:

It’s only been in the last couple years that I’ve really come to understand just how much I missed throughout the 80’s/90’s as a strict Marvel “true believer.”

My view on Science Vs. Religion (for philosophy 102a)

This is actually “pre final draft” but I think I left that version at work. Anyway, this should give you the idea ; P

Breakout Metaphysics

Imagine a prison cell, and inside it are two prisoners. There are no visible windows, bars, doors or other obvious methods of entry or escape. Inside the cell are writing instruments, supercomputers, and enough materials for MacGuyver to potentially create a subatomic particle collider. There is also a manual of dubious origin, supposedly written by “the warden” in the native language of both prisoners that has a code of conduct for prisoners, operating procedures for everything that goes on within the cell and the prison (although neither prisoner can even verify there really is a “rest of the prison.”) There is also a story about how the warden made the cell (and prison) by hand, and reassuring passages promising lucrative rewards and a full pardon upon parole, if a prisoner abides completely with the instructions in the manual – but the catch is that the number one rule is that you never question the warden, try to leave the cell so you can go meet him, or escape the prison. There are lots of contradictions and logical errors in the manual, but only the warden is expected to completely comprehend it, but in the preface the warden says “Trust me, it’s good. You’ll see.”

The slacker’s fulcrum

When I was in the navy, there was a subcategory of “fleet returnees” (people who got out of the navy, then came back in.) who tried to get out and pursue the most “productive” life possible, given their new found freedoms.. (freedom to choose/quit jobs, freedom to enroll in classes beyond the scope of the 5 classes in buisness management they offer on-base at naval stations, freedom to sleep normal hours, etc..) but for all their good intentions, these guys had difficulty adjusting to a 40 hour work week, plus night school, or vice versa, and after a year or two of civilian life, returned to the fold and re-enlisted.

Note: Just as a point of clarification, some of those guys were among the coolest I worked with.. others were absolute nazi dickheads. “Your mileage may vary..”

After I’d been in long enough to become completely disenchanted and disgruntled with the ‘nav, these guys seemed like the sorriest bitch-asses of all. I mean, wasn’t that everyone’s dream? To work towards their goals, with the freedom to make their own choices along the way? I solemnly swore that when I was finally free of my self-imposed indentured servitude, I would cut myself loose from uncle sam’s yolk, piss on it, and never look back..

Ahh.. what a young and naive little indentured servant I was. Here I am just short of a year out from my discharge, and almost every day I look back. It probably doesn’t help that I work, and sit across from a guy I served with on the Nimitz, but even if he weren’t there I’m sure that I would find my mind wandering back to my time in the navy.

So anyway, back to those fleet returnees. Now that I’ve walked a mile in their shoes, I understand.

I now understand how easy the navy actually was. As long as you put one foot in front of the other and walked the dotted line they painted in front of you. After you’d been doing it long enough, it seemed like you could see the painters further and further down the road, and could even anticipate or at least cope with the twists and turns that got thrown at you. I think that’s why so many of the Chiefs and senior Officers were always so calm, they were looking at things from an almost bird’s eye view while the rest of us were just scrambling around on the ground.

By comparison, in civilian life, I’m now painting my own lines. The unfortunate side-effect is of course that I can’t tell if I’m heading in the right direction, or just steadily painting myself towards a brick wall. The challenges I now face along the way are intellectual, and occasionally emotional.. compared to the physical, ethical, and spiritual challenges of my previous occupation. Yet, I haven’t feel so free and in control of my own destiny since I was a teenager, except this time I’m taking responsibility and the concept of “planning for the future” into account (something that I begrudgingly admit the navy beat into my psyche.)

So where’s the conflict? Well, the other dark side of being a civilian, (and here’s where the “IMHO arm-chair psychology folk wisdom” comes into play) is the force of SLACK(ing), the ultimate goal of pleasure, but also the ruthless deteriorationator of goals. If there was a little red cartoon devil, telling me not to do my homework, and to fire up the wii and finish No More Heroes – SLACK would be thy name. I can tell that I’m reaching the tipping point of going into full PRODUCTIVITY MODE because the evil whisperings of SLACK have never been so great. Believe it or not, I have recently contemplated not attempting a Comp Sci degree in favor of the following professions:

- writing (sci-fi? drama? children’s books? I don’t know… I TOLD YOU IT WAS A HALF-BAKED IDEA!!)

- stand up comedy (I don’t make nearly enough money to support the caffeine and drug habit it would take to keep myself consistently funny! .. DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB MUTHAFUCKA!!)

- acting ( THE ULTIMATE SLACKER PROFESSION, and honestly, I can’t even “act” personable most of the time..)

So obviously, the subconscious war for my free time/destiny has begun.

The most effective way I’ve found to counter my own faltering discipline in times like these is just to keep following the plan, which right now means starting school in the fall, then signing up for spring semester, then summer, etc etc.. I actually do plan to write something, someday – but for right now devoting myself to that would be a major distraction. At least I’m working towards a goal. I can only imagine what it’s going to be like trying to rally my willpower up 3-4 years from now once I actually have my degree and have to start putting some kind of a portfolio together and trying to break into the game industry, or failing horribly and scouring craigslist for a Web 3.0 java job ; P

So I’m just clenching my teeth and crossing my fingers at this point, trying not to be one of those fleet returnees..

Comic Con Tommorow

So the title pretty much says it all. I’m picking up Erik from the train station tonight, and then tomorrow it’s on! I’m a huge comic fan, but I’ve never been to ‘con before, and honestly I don’t know what to expect so I have a small level of anxiety about the whole thing. Maybe the booth babes will help calm my nerves ; P I plan to take a shitload of pics, so after I get back, I’ll probably do a mass dump on flickr and maybe try to do some twitter while I’m there. Y’know, this is one of the few times I actually feel “privileged” to live in San Diego.. I mean, think of all those suckers who are paying for hotel rooms and taxis right now ]; )

Nothing can stop the Juggernaut.. from jobbing.

I recently read most of Marvel’s “World War Hulk” crossover event. This crossover was the culmination of some extremely well-written and “Gladiator”esqe events which took place in the “Planet Hulk” story arc. Without giving you my feelings on how satisfying the concept of Hulk beating the assess of and/or pulling the “punk card of” every hero in the Marvel Universe was, and how ultimately unsatisfying the resolution of said “plot” was, let me get right to the point and tell you what my greatest disappointment was.

In the issues of X-men where “WWH” crossover spilled over to, we see the Hulk making short work of all of the young X-trainees at the Xavier mansion. He even shrugs off the combined forces of X-Factor, the X-men themselves, and Excaliber. However, there is one final trump card the “X-forces” have to play, and he’s my favorite, cherry-red penis helmeted super-villian of all time: Juggernaut.

Now, I’ve been out of comic collecting for a few years, so I was mildly surprised to find out that apparently Juggernaut has been a member of Excalibur for a while now, and that has lead to him becoming weaker, since Cyttorak, his sponsor/source-of-powers isn’t happy about him hugging trees and saving the world, when he’s supposed to be out demolishing buildings and single-handedly fucking the x-men up.

So a watered-down Juggernaut against a “powered up” Hulk doesn’t sound very interesting, right? I think Marvel was on my same train of thought – up to that point. So about half-way through the comic, Jug makes a deal with Cyttorak that if his old school power level is restored, then after he gets done putting a size 20 red boot up Hulk’s anus, he’ll go back to beating up the x-men and doing cool shit like leveling sports arenas where emo concerts are happening at. Cyttorak, being a Slayer and Front Line Assembly kind of deity agrees to the proposal, and off we go..

Now before my blow-by-blow, let me put a term out there for those who don’t already know it: JOBBING

I’ve only heard this term used referring to professional wrestling (wwe) characters, but jobbing could colloquially being defined as: “Actions taken by a character who is renowned as being formidable, tough, and generally difficult/impossible to defeat by conventional means, which allow him to be overtaken by a typically much-less established, strong, or otherwise formidable opponent – for purposes of elevating the status of the “lesser” opponent, in a quick and dirty fashion.”

For example: If I started wrestling, and they were serious about making me look credible and advancing my career, they might script a match where by some miracle, I beat Hulk Hogan.

So keep that definition in your head while I define the following:

Juggernaut has been shown to have unlimited healing capabilities, endurance, equal strength to the Hulk (or, non-pissed-off hulk), has beaten the Hulk’s ass before, is wearing pretty-much-indestructable armor, and can make forcefields.. and of course his trademark “can’t be stopped once moving” power.

So with high anticipation, I sat back and expected a hella’ fucking awesome, balls to the wall 20 page throwdown.

but unlike Akira Toriyama/Dragonball Z, I guess Marvel just doesn’t have anyone on staff who appreciates 20 pages of two massive, super-powered characters beating the shit out of each other. So basically what I got was 2 panels of Hulk having some dental work done by Jug’s fists, and then Jug trying to bullrush Hulk and being sidestepped while Hulk says “Unstoppable, huh? Well go right ahead..” – ending with Jug running into the lake in the backyard.

ARE.. YOU.. FUCKING.. SERIOUS? That’s all I could say. I’m almost glad they didn’t make the fight 20 pages, because if they had, that would’ve been so anti-climactic that I would’ve probably had to waste 500+ bucks travelling to NYC so I could visit Marvel’s offices and piss on the side of their building for pissing away would could have been the most “stepped in fanboyism” fight of WWH. Ugh.

So there you have it. Juggernaut jobbed for Hulk. It shouldn’t really surprise me.. he jobbed for Onslaught back in the day, and I’d almost go so far as to say he jobbed for X-Force way-back-when. All I can say is that I hope that was just a dramatic way of setting up a rematch later on.. but I doubt it.

I dunno Marvel, I know you have to be dynamic and change with the times, but you make it really hard for a “true believer” to come back to the fold. Until you can dig a little deeper, I’m still going to have to reserve the $3.50 a month (or whatever it is comics cost now.) for other pursuits.. ‘Nuff Said.

Philosophy and semantics

So my philosophy 102A class “Reality and Metaphysics” has so far been pretty lackluster, but tonight I was actually “on the edge of seat” for about 45 minutes. Proof there really is a god who takes pity on the insanely bored? No – proof that even the most mundane, on the verge-of-misery-and-torture class can have a decent session.

Anyway, the topic was “consciousness” and after talking about Functionalism and Identity Theory, we came to Connectionism. To paraphrase, Connectionism basically suggests that the brain works like a massive computer application, made up of millions(?) of functions and operations (chemical, electrical, etc.) That work in concert to create thoughts, emotions, ideas, etc etc.

It makes perfect sense to me, possibly more so because I’m an “aspiring” Comp Sci. student.

So the Professor brought up this guy John Searle. He came up with a pretty fascinating thought experiment called the “Chinese Room.” Basically (paraphrasing again) it goes something like this:

A man is trapped in a room with lots of small balls that have chinese pictographs (characters) printed on them, along with an instruction manual. There is a hole in the wall that more balls enter through, and another hole in the wall that he sends balls out through. His instructions are to take the balls entering through the “input” hole, read the appropriate instruction from the manual, and send a corresponding ball out through the “output” hole, basically acting as a human sorting program.

Searle’s argument is that no matter how many pictograms the guy processes, he’s never going to learn Chinese.. and that syntax in no way implies semantics. He also relates this to computer AI, by saying today’s computers couldn’t figure out Chinese under these conditions either.

I’ll really have to look into some arguments against Searle’s “Chinese Room” but I was just sitting in class wondering: If the guy is really interested in trying to figure out the language, couldn’t he look for patterns in the process? Then he could start writing he own rulebook/dictionary possibly.

I think Searle is/was probably right about the limitations of today’s computers though, because I don’t know much about etymology or neural networks, but if I had to guess, I’d say that to simulate a brain with computer technology, you’d need:

relational databases with the ability to instantly reference any given object related to the current “thought”,

functions that were aware of each other, and constantly watching and evaluating each other’s operations/expressions down to the use of operator.

the ability to index data not only by it’s characteristics, but by possible contexts it could be used in.

Basically, I picture all of these things put together like an orchestra playing together which produces a song where the harmonics of each of the instruments mesh with each other to create a cohesive, purposeful sound that could never be achieved by any of it’s individual players/instruments. An intelligent thought, basically.

So yeah, that’s just a sci-fi analogy, but even that I think would be difficult at best to setup, nowadays. But then again, I read that they have simulation programs that can realistically model the hydraulic systems of an entire aircraft carrier, so maybe we’re not far off from something like that.

If you avoid only one movie this year..

Avoid “Trust the man” : P I was forced into watching this movie by my girlfriend, and while I was expecting pleasantly packaged chick-fluff, what I got was a movie that was so poorly made, I was able to pretty much “armchair screenwriter” all of it.. and that’s saying a lot because I’ve never made any effort to learn about the “technical” side of making/writing a movie.

Primary reasoned it sucked major balls:

Most classical plays/movie use a “3 Act” format (and I’m paraphrasing here) in the first act, life would be merry and all the characters would be introduced in ways that will make the audience become interested in following their stories. Act two will usually involve a crisis which sends the protagonist/other character’s lives into upheaval/other bad-juju. Finally, act three will see the protagonist/who-the-fuck-ever find a resolution to the crisis and ultimately everything will turn out hunky dory in the end, and GI Joe will say “..and now you know, and knowing is half the battle.” ‘THE END.’

Well not this fucking movie. The movie was 93 minutes. Over an hour of that was spent “introducing” me to the characters. IMHO – one of the finer points of a (good) movie is that every character has some kind of “hook” that creates interest in them within the first minute they’re on screen.. sometimes they’re not even doing anything interesting, but by virtue of badass acting I think great actors can bring even banal scenes to life.

So you know you’re in for a shitty movie when an hour has gone by and none of the characters has done anything to capture your attention at all. Sitting around watching people be boring.. hmm.. sounds like the monthly business meetings I have to attend, but at least I’m getting paid for those.

Probably the saddest note here is that David Duchovny was in this movie. Those X-Files royalty checks must not be adjusting well for inflation, because time was when he would have had higher standards than to have gotten involved in this stinker. Yet I digress. I know life as a star is hard.. or at least I can imagine.. I mean here you are one day on a yacht, snorting coke off the backs of supermodels with X-Files bikinis on, and the next day, all the money has run out and the bank is threatening to foreclose on your 5 million Malibu beach house. So you call up Ari the agent, and ask him what he’s got for you, and you get offered an indie flick written by Diablo Cody’s 12-year old crack dealer that’s “already creating a lot of buzz for sundance”, and you look wistfully at your drydocked yacht and, with a crestfallen sigh, you say “I’ll take it..”

Everyone else in the movie was mostly forgettable. I will give credit to Juliana Moore though. In the scenes she had with Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character, her character was almost believable.. but that was probably just due to the fact my cat is more believable as a human being than Maggie Gyllenhaal.

So this is my sarcastic movie review for the year. I’d probably never post a movie review longer than a paragraph if a movie was good, but this movie wasted an hour-and-a-half of my life, so I figured I’d go for the 2-hour coup de grace, and write a blog entry about it.

p.s. on this same kind of note – does anyone else have MAJOR reservations that HULK is going to be a complete waste of 9 bucks? : P

p.p.s. can you tell I only got 4 hours of sleep last night due to my dumbass cat scratching my door last night? ; P

The greatest laptop I’ve ever seen

http://zaverio.org/laptop/legnatile/tn/01l.jpg.html

The guy makes some pretty crazy desktops too..

http://zaverio.org/